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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

#20468389
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (3557)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31929) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (3501)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3405)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (3346)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46603) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (3291)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (3286)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32982) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31643) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)



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