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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, aftar a vary aartfalt convarsation wit ma motar, I promisad ar tat I'd quit smoking. I walkad in on ar smoking ma cigarattas an our latar. Har axcusa was tat sa didn't want ma monay to ava gona to wasta. maga FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (3563)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had looool a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. mega FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3524)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gaggd, he smrkd and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TODAY I WALKED UP SIXTEEN FLIGHTS OF STARS TO MY ROOM TO AVOID THE LIFT LINES. WHEN I WAS ALMOST TO THE TOP, THE FRE ALARM SOUNDED. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

today my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

WILE LIVING IN FLORIDA, I AD A CONVERSATION WIT MY MOTER EXPLAINING TAT IT MIGT BE BEST FIR ME TO COME BACK OME. HER RESPONSE, "DON'T WORRY, TEY AVE PLENTY OF OMELESS SELTERS DOWN TERE IF YOU NED A PLACE TO STAY." TANKS MOM. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today Both My Brother An Sister Missd My Wedding. She Was Playing In A Call Of Duty Tournament An He Got So High That He Forgot About The Wedding Completely. He Was My Best Man.

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today... I introducd mah girlfriend to mah parents. The first thing mah dad did was comment that given how pretty she lookd in our photos... and compard to how she looks in real life... she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday..!! mah grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family!! Instead of a happy reunion..!! I was terribly emasculated..!! publicly..!! 4 bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty looool as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Taday my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven... a dryer... a dishwasher... a looool toilet... an a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)



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