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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (3803)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33764) - you deserved it (3788)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (3778)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (3700)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37343) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31608) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49572) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (3556)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41898) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (3488)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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