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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26578) - you deserved it (4290)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (4268)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38330) - you deserved it (4052)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38795) - you deserved it (3950)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22901) - you deserved it (3935)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (3878)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42456) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (3587)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (3435)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)



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