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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33233) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (4787)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (4767)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (4717)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44740) - you deserved it (4563)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43396) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

#20473723
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (4374)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:35pm - misc - by I should have kept my mouth shut - United States (California)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34983) - you deserved it (4331)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

#20470936
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49346) - you deserved it (4192)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (4021)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36969) - you deserved it (3915)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (3892)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States



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