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Monday 14 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (39543)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (37701)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML

#20465975
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12273) - you deserved it (36543)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:55am - love - by Shuttie (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10234) - you deserved it (35987)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16778) - you deserved it (35721)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

#20471100
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7053) - you deserved it (34706)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:11am - money - by sorrygranny (woman) - United States

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (34356)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18287) - you deserved it (34132)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12615) - you deserved it (28814)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (25432)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (18906)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (14834)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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