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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (2441)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML

#20457723
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (2290)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (2289)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (2267)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (2181)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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