Saturday 12 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26331) - you deserved it (6510)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (6448)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (6239)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37398) - you deserved it (6152)
On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34055) - you deserved it (6065)
On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (6025)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (5910)
On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (5781)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (5717)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (5693)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (5488)
On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (5416)
On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23631) - you deserved it (5400)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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