Saturday 12 January 2013 
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Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16096) - you deserved it (25771)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20368) - you deserved it (24951)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (23700)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13979) - you deserved it (23546)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12785) - you deserved it (22601)
On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8287) - you deserved it (22199)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (20440)
On 01/09/2013 at 5:42am - work - by georgiamarshall_ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9460) - you deserved it (20436)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (18584)
On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (13838)
On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (10440)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (10285)
On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (10108) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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