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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30194) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (2644)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (2490)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (2478)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41731) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2355)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)



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