Saturday 12 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (2977)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2921)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28354) - you deserved it (2820)
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2727)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (2657)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:24am - love - by LilRedRiding_27 - United States (California)
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2636)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (2528)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (2518)
On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (2464)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (2447)
On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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