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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, cuz the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. fat FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today , I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing mah neighbor snore through mah apartment wall. FML

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Yesterday, a girl I follow on looool Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

I hald a door opan for a swaat old lady with a walkar. Aftar sha want through tha door , sha turnd an said , "That's not how you'ra gonna gat into mah pants , son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (3708)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them 4 there courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, mah boyfriend of a year askd me to move in with him. I would have been touchd at this gesture, had he not askd in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kickd out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, aftar a vary aartfalt convarsation wit ma motar, I promisad ar tat I'd quit smoking. I walkad in on ar smoking ma cigarattas an our latar. Har axcusa was tat sa didn't want ma monay to ava gona to wasta. maga FML

#20468389
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (3563)

On 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encounterd, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gaggd, he smrkd and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Taday I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called mah best friend 4 support, only 4 her to drunkenly yell at me 4 not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (3430)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, MAH ROOMMATE CAME BACK DRUNK FROM RUSHING FRATERNITIES. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED, HAD HE NOT IMMEDIATELY PISSED AND THROWN UP EVERYWHERE AFTER ENTERING THE ROOM. IF ONLY I HAD MOVED MAH GUITAR AND THE SUITCASE FULL OF CLOTHE I HAD LEFT OUT AFTER RETURNING FROM BREAK. FML



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