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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37448) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (2744)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (2739)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40376) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45907) - you deserved it (2665)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (2577)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (2550)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)



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