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Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, I opened the door to go out 4 groceries!! Lying on mah doorstep was a pile of poop!! A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how!! FML
Today , I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites . Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked picture of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls . His excuse? "I have friend looool on there." big fat FML
yesterday mah girlfriend and I took a nap on mah couch. She used mah arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated mah shoulder. My screams of pain woke her,hich was apparently an "asshole move" on mah part. FML
Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML
Friday 27 March 2015