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Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today , I opened the door to go out 4 groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read , "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clueho I pissed off , or how. mega FML
Today... I saw in ma browser istory a profile from one of tose ( Facebook of sex ) websites. Turns out tat ma boyfriend as been posting nakd pictures of imself on tere using ma laptop and flirting wit teenage girls. His excuse? ( I ave friends on tere. ) mega FML
Yesterday, ma grlfriend an I took looool a nap on ma couc. Se used ma arm as a pillow, an everyting was pretty peaceful, until se moved over an practically dislocated ma soulder. My screams of pain woke er, wic was apparently an ( assole move ) on ma part. FML
Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML
Friday 27 March 2015