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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret . He then added that his mother picked it out . FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

yesterday mah boss calld me over to his office; he wantd me to fire four hardworking employees!! One of them was the girl I was going to ask out!! FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I opened the door to go out 4 groceries!! Lying on mah doorstep was a pile of poop!! A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how!! FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (3071)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friendhile I sleep . I have no idea how many times this has happened . mega FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23741) - you deserved it (3062)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today , I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites . Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked picture of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls . His excuse? "I have friend looool on there." big fat FML

#20466217
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, management told me that I couldn't looool have a doorbell on my door . How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell . FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

yesterday mah girlfriend and I took a nap on mah couch. She used mah arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated mah shoulder. My screams of pain woke her,hich was apparently an "asshole move" on mah part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I ad to explain to usband tat te 5-second looool rule doesn't apply if u drop te floss into te toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2846)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Yesterday, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend tat I'm so appy we met one anoter. Se muttered, "Well, tat makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (2836)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, grandfater askd me y te broccoli I servd fir dinner was wite!! I told im it was cauliflower!! He would't believe me, accusd me of being a Russian spy, and stormd out!! FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (2805)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States



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