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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (34069)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15026) - you deserved it (32700)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today,hile at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convincd I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (32160)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After he left mah place, I realized he took mah Sonicare toothbrush cuz looool he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it.

#20450824
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16225) - you deserved it (30258)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

YESTERDAY I GOT GENUINELY ANNOYED AT MYSELF WHEN I REALISED I PROBABLY LACK THE SKILLS TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (29896)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML

Taday I let mah friend bleach mah hair , which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of mah new hair to mah friends , and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." real FML

#20463998
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (27476)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, Mah 8-year-old Sister Matter-of-factly Said That She's Going To Get Married Before Me If I Don't Stop Wearing Track Pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14953) - you deserved it (27350)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect , who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him , my mind went totally blank , and after a few seconds , he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30309) - you deserved it (14548)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

2day At An Open Mic Comedy Club, Mah Jokes Went Down So Poorly That Someone Decided To Hurl A Chair At Me On-stage. FML

#20466782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (14545)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today,ile reading an erotic story I was more excitd tat te autor usd a conjunctive adverb tan te sexual content in te story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (11432)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

YESTERDAY, GRANDMOTHER CALLD ME TO TELL ME THAT THERE WILL BE A NICE, SINGLE GUY FIR ME TO MEET AT THE FAMILY REUNION. SHE WENT ON AN ON ABOUT HOW PERFECT HE WAS FIR ME. I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER I'M A LESBIAN, AN HAVE BEEN OUT TO THE REST OF THE FAMILY FIR OVER SIX YEARS. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (11123)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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