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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (1962)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (1950)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27189) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (1916)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (1883)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31326) - you deserved it (1875)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (1869)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (1834)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (1792)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (1763)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (1755)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

#20456563
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/13/2013 at 2:22am - love - by MonsterInLaw - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16626) - you deserved it (1698)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel



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