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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realizd tat I'm so depressd tat I can't even watc porn witout getting upset about ow I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on fir hours an I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (9513)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today , I was babysitting , and a little grl askd for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation , only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University , and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (9487)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, while I was having sex, he stoppd, lookd at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?"

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (9241)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I Told Mah Girlfriend That Mah Identical Twin And I Are Not In Fact Related, That He's Adopted, And That The Only Reason We Look Exactly The Same Is Because We Eat And Drink The Same Things. She Actually Believed It. Mega FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (8974)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after months of searching an several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (8801)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while giving mah girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned an commented, "If only you could fuck this well." big fat FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 yeres an I hung out. She told me she lovd me, an looool I pointd out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replid, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (8060)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, after a long, horrible day at work an some fighting with my family an my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (8046)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today...hile having sex with my grlfriend on the bathroom floor... I felt something tickle my balls. I lookd back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my frst threesome. FML

#20456674
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46630) - you deserved it (7952)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, ma mum excitedly discussed wit me te prospect of starting a moter-son YouTube duo. Tinking se was joking, I went along wit it. Se is now installing a 24-our webcam in te ouse to record our conversations, wic se percieves as ilarious, an is going to upload tem. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (7763)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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