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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28975) - you deserved it (3400)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (3301)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years, whose reaction was to pretend to take a phone call. FML

#20453131
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (3283)

On 01/11/2013 at 1:46am - love - by proposal fail - United States

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (3261)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)



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