Friday 11 January 2013 
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Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (2268)
On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37349) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2145)
On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States
Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (2116)
On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (2103)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (2075)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (2053)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23273) - you deserved it (2052)
On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27540) - you deserved it (1961)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (1942)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States
Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (1932)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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