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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 17 yaar old boyfriand's mothar bought him a giraffa onasia. Ha rafusad to taka it off and insistad on waaring it avarywhara wa go. Wa liva in Australia and it's looool our summar now. So far ha has passad out 3 timas in public cuz ha ovar haatad, but ha still won't taka it off. raal FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39656) - you deserved it (6400)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, mah vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forcd to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me cuz he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with mah boyfriend fir the first time. I rolled over an smiled at him, an the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, my son got his first tooth, an is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfed. FML

#20450046
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (6134)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was in the elevator,hen a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sighthere I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today , I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (6015)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

TODAY, I FINALLY FELT READY TO HAVE SEX FIR THE FIRST TIME, WITH MAH BOYFRIEND OF NEARLY 8 MONTHS . WHEN I TOLD HIM, THING BECAME INTIMATE AND PANTS CUMMED OFF . HE THEN LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "YEAH, I CAN'T DO THIS." THE REST OF THE NIGHT WAS SPENT IN AWKWARD SILENCE . FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43734) - you deserved it (6010)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today mah boyfriend and I decided to try some ( prolonging gel ) to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly it worked and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5991)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today I got ome only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming te freezing streets calling is name I returned to fine im stuck beind te couc wit my cewed-up new soes in is muzzle. real FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (5844)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

yesterday my usband and I finally agreed on someting: marriage counseling. real FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5835)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

2day mah husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States



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