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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (2699)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37538) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

#20464379
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27389) - you deserved it (2578)

On 01/17/2013 at 11:57am - work - by lifebecrazed (woman) -

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (2577)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (2573)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (2488)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29242) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)



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