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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (5992)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (5960)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (5928)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (5846)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (5836)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (5814)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38405) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (5394)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27098) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (5315)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (5242)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (5216)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States



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