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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14456) - you deserved it (5948)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34677) - you deserved it (5888)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (5824)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22748) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (5704)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (5681)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (5543)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15503) - you deserved it (5518)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25490) - you deserved it (5487)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (5481)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (5468)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)



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