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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (10115)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16115) - you deserved it (9836)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (9784)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22216) - you deserved it (9156)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (9111)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (8469)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (8465)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (8310)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (8014)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (7918)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (7716)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (7702)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)



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