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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (1683)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (1651)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (1645)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (1628)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (1624)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (1608)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1591)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (1580)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (1537)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16429) - you deserved it (1391)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States



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Monday 17 June 2013

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