Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (2845)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (2826)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35770) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34265) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (2720)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2634)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (2626)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

#20453200
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38584) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43371) - you deserved it (2496)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46889) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: