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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (90755)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (60242)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (54967)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (46192)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

#20436289
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (45918)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

#20454301
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9687) - you deserved it (45429)

On 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by lostmyfaithinblowjobs (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (40690)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10682) - you deserved it (38925)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11341) - you deserved it (38887)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10185) - you deserved it (38231)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18119) - you deserved it (37159)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (33768)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10541) - you deserved it (32246)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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