Saturday 5 January 2013 
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Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (1702)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (1698)
Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (1685)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (1683)
On 01/11/2013 at 3:03am - health - by Kftc88 - United States (California)
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1651)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20876) - you deserved it (1645)
On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24502) - you deserved it (1628)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States
Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (1624)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28625) - you deserved it (1608)
On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18863) - you deserved it (1591)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (1580)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (1399)
On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16430) - you deserved it (1391)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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