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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (3034)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2932)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (2860)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (2826)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (2781)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my paintings was accepted into a local art gallery. It would've been a dream come true, had my "best friend" not submitted it under her own name and taken all the credit. FML

#20453750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (2737)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45331) - you deserved it (2624)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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