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Friday 4 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (7966)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18161) - you deserved it (7149)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (7104)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (7081)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (6549)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18648) - you deserved it (6523)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (6508)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (6443)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15143) - you deserved it (6411)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (6239)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (5911)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

#20444550
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (5907)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:17am - misc - by kiken.bara - United States

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13983) - you deserved it (5878)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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