Friday 4 January 2013 
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Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (3314)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (3284)
On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42021) - you deserved it (3121)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (2982)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (2977)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42781) - you deserved it (2901)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19548) - you deserved it (2887)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (2830)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (2761)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (2704)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (2592)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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