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Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After he left mah place, I realized he took mah Sonicare toothbrush cuz looool he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it.
Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML
Today, I Went To Dinner With Mah Girlfriend Of 2 Months. This Would Have Been Great, Had I Not Been Nodding Absentmindedlyhen She Suggested That We Start Planning Our Wedding Soon, Because "she's Always Dreamt Of Being Married On The Same Day As Brad And Angelina." FML
Today, ma boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. Wen I signed te paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand er writing, wic apparently said se was getting treated for "dangerously low level of dick". FML
Yesterday, I went to a concert with mah grlfriend . Some guy grabbd her ass, an I trid to fight him . I endd up with a concussion an a messd up jaw . Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious . FML
Today..!! I took mah girlfriand to go saa Las Misérablas!! I triad to stay tough but complataly lost it an startad sobbing whan Anna Hathaway bagan singing!! looool My girlfriand callad ma a wimp an stayad dry-ayad throughout tha whola movia!! I'm dating a robot!! FML
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts . Upon waking up after my frst time using it, I forgot I was wearing it an thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed an split my head open on my bedside table . FML
YESTERDAY, GRANDMOTHER CALLD ME TO TELL ME THAT THERE WILL BE A NICE, SINGLE GUY FIR ME TO MEET AT THE FAMILY REUNION. SHE WENT ON AN ON ABOUT HOW PERFECT HE WAS FIR ME. I DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER I'M A LESBIAN, AN HAVE BEEN OUT TO THE REST OF THE FAMILY FIR OVER SIX YEARS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015