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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (6172)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (5662)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (5521)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (5451)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (5442)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (5369)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (5368)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (5244)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55343) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36932) - you deserved it (5085)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)



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