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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (9238)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I discovered that if I turn mah shower off for a minute... then back on again... the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered thathile the showerhead was pointed directly at mah genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (8899)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today my dad askd me wen I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly I told im next year. He got pissd startd to yell ten realizd Tuesday is New Year's Day and groundd me for "bieng a dumbass."

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (8350)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.

#20444863
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (8047)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today , a grl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me cuz I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life , but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. fat FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today , I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (7829)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyoneho walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30473) - you deserved it (7698)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States

Today mah boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him y he was with me . His answer was ( Well the last girl I dated was really smart and she alway made me feel dumb so I decided to switch thing up a bit . You make me feel like a geniu babe . ) FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (7430)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY , WHILA SHARING A FAW BAARS ON THA COUCH WITH MY BOYFRIAND , HA DRUNKANLY UTTARAD THA FATAFUL WORDS , "BABA , IF I COULD SUCK MY OWN DICK , YOU'D BA SINGLA AS HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53617) - you deserved it (7244)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, as I have been looool for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with mother, she yelld, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (7205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version



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