Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, after I finally laid down from a long day an was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set mah alarm. I don't own an alarm clock an mah alarm is on mah phone. Which was in mah car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building an our parking garage is across the street. FML
Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML
Today, as every day 4 te past few weeks, my usband won't ave sex. His reason? We've decided to ave a baby, and e reckons tat te longer e waits, te more competition tere will be between is sperm and tus te better te result will be. FML
Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.
Today , a grl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me cuz I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life , but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. fat FML
Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .
Today mah boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him y he was with me . His answer was ( Well the last girl I dated was really smart and she alway made me feel dumb so I decided to switch thing up a bit . You make me feel like a geniu babe . ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015