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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless an clichd an that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50574)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today.. . I woke up to a looool small fre on my roof.. . burning up small twigs an branches . The cause? Last night.. . I threw a sparkling frecracker up very high.. . only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind . It's going to take $2...000 to fix the damage . FML

#20436289
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (46834)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY , I WAS DRIVING WITHOUT MY SEATBELT ON , WHEN I NOTICED A POLICE CAR APPROACHING. I PANICKED AND DESPERATELY FUMBLED AROUND FIR MY SEATBELT , ONLY FIR THEM TO PASS BY WITH JUST A FUNNY LOOK. THEN IT HIT ME THAT I WAS RIDING MY MOTORCYCLE. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (45216) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I Trid To Be Cute By Sitting On Top Of Boyfriend's Belly . While Getting On Top, I Accidentally Kned Him In His Nuts . In Pain, He Joltd His Head Up And Endd Up Banging His Head Against Mine . Now I Have A Black Eye And He Can't Walk Without Waddling . FML

#20431454
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (41398)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

YESTERDAY I GOT SO DRUNK THAT I DECIDED IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GET NAKED AN JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE IN THE BACK OF A NEIGHBOUR’S GARDEN. SAID NEIGHBOUR IS A POLICE OFFICER. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9105) - you deserved it (41374)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today...hile talking to one of my parents' friends... we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his frst tooth there... the only response I could come up with was... ( Oh my gosh... I lost my vrginity there! ) FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (41192)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today... mah extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for mah extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from mah re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. fat FML

#20421236
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (37329)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Taday I woke up with looool a hangover from hell. My cloths were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (36892)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I went to church 4 the frst time in mah life!! They had a Jesus statue at the altar , an I noticed he was surprisingly muscular!! Ten minutes later , I had to excuse myself , after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus!! FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (34672)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States



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