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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29820) - you deserved it (3404)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46194) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (3250)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34861) - you deserved it (3136)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31560) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)



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