Sunday 30 December 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (2276)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29185) - you deserved it (2271)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -
Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (2221)
On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13786) - you deserved it (2217)
On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (2189)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (2176)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22014) - you deserved it (2145)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (2116)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (2105)
On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37965) - you deserved it (2045)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (2011)
On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (1981)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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