Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (2942)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31320) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (2903)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (2886)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (2879)
On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32906) - you deserved it (2856)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15113) - you deserved it (2830)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada
Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32125) - you deserved it (2789)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (2762)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (2716)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32288) - you deserved it (2704)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29986) - you deserved it (2654)
On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46937) - you deserved it (2631)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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