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Friday 28 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday ma skydiving instructor casually remarked tat e looool wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to ma back teole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today during te countdown to midnigt I looked fir ma girlfriend so I could kiss er as 2013 began. I found er just in time to see er making out wit some guy se swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, an I don't even have a driver's license. fat FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (3213)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a café with mah friands whan an aldarly man noticad mah dimplas. Ha cummad up to ma, strokad tham whila whisparing, "Ona in a million" than walkad out. Now mah friands do this to ma constantly, avan whila driving homa. I almost hit a traa. looool FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Taday I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. big fat FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34827) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker cummed up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (3123)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday mah brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (3017)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happend to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. mega FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woka up from an axplicit draam involving mah dantist. I'm schadulad for a conscious sadation appointmant with him in two hours and I'm tarrifiad ofhat I might say or dohila I'm undar. FML

#20423262
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Taday I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing mah business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over mah shoulder andhispers in mah ear, ( That's nice ). FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Yesterday, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver mah best friend's baby. I later found out that mah ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (2835)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND KNOCKED INTO ME WITH HIS CAR. I DROVE MYSELF TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING LONG ENOUGH TO DRIVE. FML

#20434038
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (2824)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)



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