Sunday 23 December 2012 
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Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (5892)
On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (5873)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18531) - you deserved it (5838)
On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21823) - you deserved it (5778)
On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (5707)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (5621)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (5542)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (5460)
On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30954) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (5237)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (5214)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (5144)
On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25764) - you deserved it (4878)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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