Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 23 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33245) - you deserved it (8275)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (8182)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (8072)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (7980)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (7835)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37134) - you deserved it (7753)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (7561)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (7501)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (7428)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

#20411081
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (7372)

On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

#20425350
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (7283)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:16am - animals - by DarkDisaster (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: