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Friday 21 December 2012

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Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm / United States / Love

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

by wtf / 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Health

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

by Jolene / 12/26/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

by CambodianAsshole / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

by Brittany / 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm / United States / Love

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

by everore / 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

by dude, where's my balls? :( / 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

by ugh / 12/26/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

by hborkowski / 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous