Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43610) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (3423)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend breaking things off with me. He waited until the day after Christmas because he wanted all his presents. And he got me nothing. FML

#20423285
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:32am - love - by Jolene - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (3340)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (3250)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34974) - you deserved it (2937)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (2752)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: