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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (5763)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (5753)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (5561)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (5231)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (5077)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42657) - you deserved it (5016)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50382) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33448) - you deserved it (4652)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51529) - you deserved it (4648)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML



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