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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (2756)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25260) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (2653)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (2606)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (2589)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML

#20422819
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (2485)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by marriedtoatool - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (2472)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (2371)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30349) - you deserved it (2212)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (2026)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)



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