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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (8892)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33511) - you deserved it (8678)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I noticed one of my neighbors has decided to place an old toilet in the middle of their front lawn. Another one has had a kitchen sink in their driveway for a year, and yet another has a sofa in their grass. These are the people who taunt me for just walking my cat outside on a leash. FML

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (8505)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33252) - you deserved it (8275)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (7980)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (7834)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (7562)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (7500)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29612) - you deserved it (7428)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

#20411081
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (7372)

On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)



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