Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 18 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35306) - you deserved it (5561)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (5076)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42353) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51505) - you deserved it (4647)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (4329)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (4327)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (4298)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (4281)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (4095)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

#20407692
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (4030)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: