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Tuesday 18 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... the girl I dumped three yeres ago because she wouldn't take mah band seriously is now a successful an rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile... I'm still unemployed... living with mah parents... an can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (74331)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday I had a look through mah dad's grlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know wat I'm getting 4 christmas. Worst part: I now know mah dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14297) - you deserved it (69951)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today , I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it , but he never seemed to laugh. Finally , the door opened and out came a lady in aheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband.

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9027) - you deserved it (59913)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today I Hid My Weed Stash In A Bag From An Expensive Jewellery Store. My Sister Walked Into My Room Went "Ooh Hat's This?" An Grabbed The Bag. I Grabbed It Back An Ad-libbed That It Was Her Christmas Gift. Now I Actually Have To Buy Her Expensive Jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10962) - you deserved it (57967)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50573)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (47574)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today I was drunk at a party an confessed my love fir my crush an told her how I felt . According to my friends I made out with another girl not long after my confession . FML

#20412747
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11510) - you deserved it (45781)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today... mah extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for mah extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from mah re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. fat FML

#20421236
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (37329)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Taday I woke up with looool a hangover from hell. My cloths were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (36892)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I baked some regular brownies fir mah friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed mah room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. mega FML

#20411716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (35412)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I was in the mall fir the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walkd past Santa he askd me , ( Why does Santa look different today )? Not thinking , I said , ( Because each mall has a different Santa. ) FML

#20405502
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (32912)

On 12/18/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by I said whaat -

Today , my friend an I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool , I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out an ran onto the deck , slipping an falling flat on my back. Her dad saw thehole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13102) - you deserved it (32823)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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