Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy looool 4 me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift themhen I saw the other man,ho was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informd me he was buying them 4 his wife.
Today I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been ranging from how bad I smell to if I had looool learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML
TODAY MY MOTHAR HAS STOOPD TO A NAW LAVAL OF ( HIDING ) CHRISTMAS GIFTS. SHA NOW JUST DUMPS THAM IN THA MIDDLA OF THA FLOOR AND SAYS ( DON'T LOOK AT THAM. ) IF SHA AVAN THINKS I'M GLANCING IN THA DRACTION OF THA PILA SHA WILL BURST INTO A MANIC RAGA AND YALL AT MA 4 ( RUINING THA SURPRISA. ) FML
2day my car is still in te sop, so I askd my psyco broter to drive me to te mall. He spd up to nerely 20km over te sped limit, so I soutd for im to stop before e got us bot killd. He it te brakes in te middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
Today , I sent a cute , jokey text to girlfriend saying , "Just in case te world ends , I love you." Not only did se dump me because I was an "idiot 4 believing in te doomsday" , wic I don't , se also wrote a Facebook status about it . Now everyone tinks I'm mentally unstable . FML
Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML
yesterday at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out an suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Friday 27 March 2015