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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in the ( end-of-the-world ) spirit, I askd my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, ( It's really windy out. ) FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18136) - you deserved it (25555)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML

#20403223
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (23511)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by LemmyIsWet (man) - United States

Today, I Was Sleeping On An Airplane. I Dreamed That I Was Running Mah Hands Up And Down Mah Friend's Leg Sexually To Creep Him Out. I Woke Up And I Realized That I Was Running Mah Hand Up And Down The Leg Of The Old Man Sitting Next To Me.

#20408734
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (23241)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00 and figurd I could wait a few minute before getting ready. The next thing I knew it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (21383)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front . He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that yur boob?" . He had grabbed a fat roll . FML

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19110)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my grlfriend and I were in the mood fir something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (17050)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworker over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (16328)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML

#20408274
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (14280)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with mah boyfriand, who is parfact in avary way possibla. Wa wara going to hava sax for tha first tima as wall. Unfortunataly, I had a draam last night about him shitting all ovar ma an I can't look at him with a straight faca. maga FML

#20403258
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (14236)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I realized that sex with mah husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an looool orgasm than let him continue. FML

#20199068
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (11240)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)



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