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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (3201)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

#20410075
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm - love - by igiveup (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML

#20200101
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (3105)

On 12/11/2012 at 3:39am - love - by you're just creepy. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22128) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27612) - you deserved it (2864)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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