Thursday 13 December 2012 
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Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (6397)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (6295)
On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (5873)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (5707)
On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (5481)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19525) - you deserved it (5356)
On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30702) - you deserved it (5237)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (5055)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (4919)
Today, I sent a cute, jokey text to my girlfriend saying, "Just in case the world ends, I love you." Not only did she dump me because I was an "idiot for believing in the doomsday", which I don't, she also wrote a Facebook status about it. Now everyone thinks I'm mentally unstable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (4856)
On 12/20/2012 at 7:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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