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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (5537)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (5473)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (5382)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20141) - you deserved it (5147)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (4816) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (4775)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19327) - you deserved it (4742)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (4542)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (4247)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (4185)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (4119)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



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